Bay Watch, Truffle Shuffles, and Squirtles

Imagine, you are running slow mo, in a bathing suit, and ....

BOOM

Instead of smooth, hot bodied person running, you realize you are the truffle shuffle

My family decided to start water aerobics at the local high school. Our first night there they had us "run". Now you need to understand, I have not run in a very long time. In fact I am one of those guys who looks down at sporting events, turns to the next guy and says, "man, those guys are not even hustling! They need to pick it up!"[it then being near the end of the game]. I know. I know. I really said that at a soccer match. The person I said that to was my fit boss who plays soccer. He was kind and smiled. :-)

But Pamela Anderson and I have one thing in common, when we run it is in slow mo. Now mind you at the water aerobics class it is not fit trim young people in attendance. It is generally, well a different demographic. As I ran from one side of the shallow pool to the other I was bringing the truffle shuffle back into style. I guess if Pamela Anderson were 6'1, was hairy like Andre the Giant and had the face of Chunk from Goonies, then we would have looked just about the same! 

But in all honesty it has been awesome to get more active, and they also have a kiddy pool where our kids play. 

As we got home this evening my wife is exhausted and turns to me and say, "[ something, something, something, exhausted, something, something, it is your turn." 

I was trying to eat the wonderful dinner that I had not been able to earlier so I wasn't listening, but I think I got the gist of it[I got home and we immediately left for the pool] . So I called all of our children into our room. We read scriptures, prayed. I told the older kids to bring me diapers and put on their pajama's and presto. They all went to bed. I thought I was pretty clever. I managed to get everything done while sitting on my bed eating my dinner. 

But as luck would have it my 3 year old cried for her "Squirtle". Those not privy to the wonderful children's cartoon Pokemon will not know what this is. It is a blue colored turtle that squirts water from its mouth. 

We do not own a Squirtle stuffed doll so she found a small blue turtle among the stuffed animals and calls it her Squirtle. She could not find and she was crying.   So at this point I had laid down and my wife gets up agitated. Stating that "someone" has to get up since I was not. Feeling somewhat bad for my tired wife. I got up. I was a little snacky so I grabbed a potato chip from the near by bag in the kitchen. She called out, in a snarky way, "oh are you looking for Squirtle?" To which I responded, "If Squirtle is in a potato chip bag then absolutely!" Needless to say that didn't work out well for me.

I then immediately found the stuffed doll in the middle of the living room and handed it to my daughter. I then let my wife continue to look. Now before you go passing judgement I must state my defense. In the battle of wits, I am sadly unarmed when compared to my wife. So I have to enjoy the more subtle victories. My wife continued looking to no avail. She went into my daughters room about 5 minutes later and said, "oh good you found your Squirtle". And she is now in bed. 

Life is an adventure, I keep getting lost, but the people I am with make it worth all the while. 

Bed Time Logic

It is absolutely incredible. This book hits the nail on the head in regards and children going to sleep.

I am going to share what happened tonight. This is pretty indicative of most nights in the Davis house hold.

10 minutes before we go to bed I let the kids have one last snack and water before we start our bed time routine. We then read scriptures, say a prayer, then put on jammies, and brush teeth, and go to the bathroom.

Here are the comments I have heard so far tonight.

Madeline: "She (meaning Adele) was scared of the monsters and I said, I am not a monster, I am Madeline. Don't call me a monster. Daddy Adele called me a monster. I am not a monster. I am Madeline."

She repeated this for about 5-10 mins.

Adele, "I am scared."

Zoe, "Boo-Boo-Boo" This is only even more humorous because Adele is "scared" Maddy is saying she is not a monster and Zoe is repeating "boo-boo-boo" which for her means she wants to breast feed (Naomi is almost done weaning her off :-)

Hyrum talks a lot. But after about 5 minutes of normal complaining, you know, I am hungry, I am thirsty, I am not tired, he spouted this one liner out. "I think I am turning white."

He seemed really disturbed by this. It took a lot not to start laughing at this point.

Then Naomi had gotten home from going to the movies with a friend. Of course Zoe jumped out of bed to see her. She got the girls settled back in and then she went to say good night to Hyrum. She then told him she would be "right back", and then she left for the rest room and went back bed.

I was sitting at the computer playing Baloons Monkey City and writing the blog. I tend to stay in the living room to ensure the girls don't come out. I go "super nanny" on them and pick them up and put them right back in their beds.  As I was sitting at the computer Hyrum continually asked. "when is mommy coming back, she said she was coming right back." After about 5 mins of this I finally said, hey if you clean the living room (which we had cleaned earlier but has since been made quite the mess) you can go lay down with mom. He said "deal". Not remembering how messy the living room was he came out and said " oh man". I felt bad so I told him to just go to our room and go lay down.

Then Naomi kicked him out telling him to go put on his pajamas. (Earlier I told him to do that but he decided to play with his toys so I stripped him to his boxer shorts and tucked him in). So he ran in gleefuly put on his pajamas and went back to my room.

All of this may not seem that humorous. But what you don't realize is that he has been non stop talking to my wife for nearly 1/2 hour with out stop. It is amazing. I sit here and chuckle and the only thing I can think of is if that was me in there I would say,

Go the **** to sleep. :-)

The Seahawks Biggest Phan!

I went to go see a close friend from lunch the other day. He is Asian and one of the kindest, most sincere, and respectful people I know. We have lunch and we are walking back to the car and he says the following (this is paraphrased but close to what was actually said).

My friend explains, "At work they allow us to wear Seahawk's gear on Fridays. So I bought the "12th Man" Jersey. As you can see on the back it says "Fan". This ... (curse words ommiteed) lady comes and asks me, "Ohhh, I see your last name must be Phan, so "Fan" on the back of the jersey is just a play on your own name right?"

The distorted look on his face, and the fire in his eyes and the curse words the flew made this one of the funniest things I had every heard.

His last name certainly wasn't "Phan" but from now on, he will always be the Seahawk's #1 Phan to me!

Surprise!

It is Sunday evening. The holidays were amazing and things are starting to settle down. But not at home. I forgot our congregation changed their meeting time and I was late for church. I have already cleaned the house just a day ago and did all the laundry (washed not put away yet :-) but it is already back to a disaster zone.

We have started a new tradition where we have my sister who now lives next to us come over for Sunday dinner. She is Vegan and gluten intolerant. So as my wife put the final touches on dinner she asked me to "clean up".

A little begrudged, I went to the bathroom and there was toilet paper scattered about every where. I thought to my self. "that is an easy fix". I then proceeded to put all the toilet paper in the bowl, only then to have a voice in the back of my mind say the following, "Hey Ben, that may be to much toilet paper for one flush, it may over flow." My wife then called out to me to go do something else. I put the lid down and thought, well... that will be someone else's problem.

Just now my son comes out. "There is a whole roll of toilet paper in toilet!"

This is where it gets funny.

My wife blames him, he says "no I only went pee"

I then tell him to just put the lid down, wash his hands and I would be there in a minute.

Then my sister kindly blames a few of my girls asking in her sweet voice, "did you put toilet paper in the toilet?"

I am now laughing to myself, but the TV is on with the Color Show, these coloring crayons that fly around the screen coloring things, hence no one is paying attention to me. Then ultimately my sister went to the bathroom and fixed it.

Well, I totally shirked my responsibilities this time, and got a good laugh as all of my children took the blame for my mistake.

I happily leave this post to go clean something else with the surprise that I did not have to fix the toilet :-)